By Tanzania Country Manager Edward Mgeni
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| Moses and Zamuda on their wedding day in Pommern. |
When deciding a "Dowry" in this community [The Hehe and Bena], the practice is of very great
importance when a man is to marry a wife. When the gentleman
plans get to married, he first reports to his parents about the
matter for approval. The parents in turn invite a number of relatives
and very close friends to discuss the matter and advise the gentleman.
When the family members at the meeting support the idea, it entails that the betrothed and her family members are accepted to form a
big family altogether.
A letter of application gets
written to the girl's parents with some Tanzanians shillings in the envelope.
Two people[a man and a lady] gets chosen to take the letter to the family. This letter is never posted. The money can be between 20,000/= to
50,000/= . The "applicant's" current financial position determines the
application fee. When the girl's parents receives the letter, they first ask
their daughter at a family level to confirm the matter. Usually at this
stage letters gets confirmed. Then the parents calls their close relatives and
friend and to inform them over a calabash of bamboo or corn liquor . At this session, relatives evaluates the applicant and his
family members daily life similar to what the gentleman’ s parents did.
When the application is accepted, they then on the same day decide what the
gentleman should give in place of their daughter. Usually the mention is in
terms of the living animals [cows, sheep or goats] plus other minor items like
blankets and bed sheets. The date gets fixed when both families, friends and
close relatives will meet. This date is the day for the gentleman’s family to
give the dowry. Food gets prepared and ceremoniously eaten together if
the dowry has been given. Then wedding is planned and
announced by the gentleman’s party.
While other people think that
dowry giving is purchasing human beings, it is not so. Our tribe culturally understands that
dowry is to be given. This is our understanding: How do you know that one is serious with taking
one's daughter with simple word s such as “ I love your daughter" and "I would like her to marry me”? Dowry is a taste question and if he gives the dowry, we know he is serious, and thus shall value her and take care of her.
Many marriages last long in Iringa, however these days, there are various challenges due to
education, outsiders' influence and money economy. Moses gave cows
and was allowed to get married. I paid and I got married. Many other still do
and so forth. Other tribes with many cows give more cows. Wow !!!This
sounds strange, eeh! This is how it is, one time the youth representative
in the parliament raised the abolishment of the dowry issue to the
parliament for discussion, the decision was: "Let those who are asking bare
their own daughters to give free - not our daughters," the members of the
parliament concluded.
